Tommy Dorfman

Who is Tommy Dorfman's fiancé? The star of '13 Reasons Why,' 'Insatiable,' and other hit shows announced her engagement on Aug. 15, 2022.

"And I think I also made decisions that were just not aligned with who I really was and who I really wanted but out of fear. “So when it came to anything around dysphoria or gender and stuff that had already been present I was like, 'Nope that’s not for now,'" she added. "In those early years of working, I was just trying to understand. "I got stuck in time for a minute," she said. "I was like, 'This is the year that I’m going to go on some dates with girls and feel that out again and not feel ashamed about it,'" she said. Tommy shared a few details about her new relationship with her fiancé with Broad Ideas hosts Rachel Bilson and Olivia Allen.

The '13 Reasons Why' actress - who came out as transgender in July 2021 and divorced from ex-husband Peter Zurkuhlen earlier this year - is staying coy about ...

As a result of that shift, the types of romantic partnerships I seek out are different. She explained: "My fiancée, she knew how, so she did it for me the first time. "I had this unresolved, unexplored thing.

Actor Tommy Dorfman, who came out as a transgender woman, has got engaged to a woman. Earlier, Dorfman was married to Peter Zurkuhlen for 5 years.

She says she spent 28 years of her life as a man feeling depressed and addicted to drugs and alcohol. In 2021, she came out as a transgender person and started using 'she' pronouns. [Tommy Dorfman](/topic/tommy-dorfman)has announced that she is engaged to a woman, whose name she has not disclosed. [Peter Zurkuhlen](/topic/peter-zurkuhlen)for 5 years and sought a divorce this year in February. Tommy came forward as a binary in 2017 and started using “they” pronouns. [Market Share of Private Fuel Retailers Falls 50-80% in a Year](/epaper/delhicapital/2022/aug/17/et-front/market-share-of-private-fuel-retailers-falls-50-80-in-a-year/articleshow/93603087.cms)

Just over a year after coming out as a transgender woman, '13 Reasons Why' star, Tommy Dorfman, had more personal news to share -- she's engaged!

Tommy publicly came out as a transgender woman in July 2021, but confirmed at the time that she’d already been living as a woman for almost a year. “I knew I was interested in women in a way that I hadn’t really been aware of since high school,” Tommy explained. The actress, who is best known for her role in 13 Reasons Why, did not specify the identity of her partner, but did confirm that she is set to marry a woman.

13 Reasons Why actor Tommy Dorfman said she would have “transitioned a lot sooner” if she had not landed her role in the hit Netflix drama.

I always felt like I wasn’t really meant for the world I’m living in. I probably got married for the first time for safety because it felt like a safe, secure space.” She said: “In those early years of working I was just trying to understand. “I got stuck in time for a minute,” she said. I always felt like I wasn’t at the right place, right time. “I had to put a lot of stuff that I thought I was gonna work on or gonna do, personal development things, I had to compartmentalise and put them away.

Tommy Dorfman told the 'Broad Ideas with Rachel Bilson' podcast that if she hadn't booked her role on '13 Reasons Why,' she would have transitioned sooner.

I made decisions that were just not aligned with how I really was or what I wanted — but out of fear.” She starred as recurring character Ryan Shaver in the first and second seasons before coming back as a guest in the fourth. According to her, had it not been for booking the role, she would have transitioned much sooner.

Tommy Dorfman: who is 13 Reasons Why's Ryan Shaver, is she engaged again, what happened with her ex husband? The actress, who is best known for her role in ...

I had this unresolved, unexplored thing." Dorfman also revealed that she chose to keep her birth name of Tommy as she feels "very connected" to it because it honours her mother’s brother who died when she was only a month old. Dorfman did not give any further details about why she and Zurkulen had split up, but she did tell Bilson that the pair, who had been together for nine years overall when they separated, decided to "redefine our relationship as friends." She revealed in an interview with Time that she had already been "privately identifying and living as a woman" for almost a year. Dorfman did also say that she was excited to find "the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with" and said that the romance has been "very affirming." She only said that her future wife is a “cis woman”, and also referred to her as a “just a gay girl”.

American actress Tommy Dorfman has opened up and said she would have "transitioned sooner" if it wasn't for '13 Reasons Why'.

Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman. “Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out. My pronouns are she/her. “I think because of my work being so tied to my body and face and identify, or whatever [a character] identified as it delayed some of my growth and some of my maturation in my twenties,” the actress added. Such as “she and her.” Where she explained how her “growth” and “maturation” were delayed by her Hollywood career.

The "13 Reasons Why" star said her fiancée was the first woman she had been with in a "very long time."

"I think I got married for safety, because it felt safe in a world that was ever changing," she told Bilson. And for the most part, putting it into my work." "It's kind of alien, and it's incredibly autonomous. All the universal feelings of being in love that are probably the same," she said. "I had this unresolved, unexplored thing. Also not safe, and like being in love is so scary.

'13 Reasons Why' star Tommy Dorfman has said she would have "transitioned a lot sooner" if she hadn't landed a role on the Netflix drama.

So I kept, on Instagram, a diaristic time capsule instead – one that shows a body living in a more fluid space.” “I think if I hadn’t booked that job I would have transitioned a lot sooner. “Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out.

Tommy — who played Ryan Shaver in the popular Netflix series — reintroduced herself as a transgender woman in July of last year.

[Submit it here](https://tips.buzzfeed.com) [Stephanie Soteriou](/author/stephaniesoteriou) at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).

The '13 Reasons Why' actress - who came out as transgender in July 2021 and divorced from ex-husband Peter Zurkuhlen earlier this year - is staying coy about ...

Dorfman publicly clarified her gender identity in July 2021 and said in an interview that she had been living as a trans woman for about a year.

“I was really scared to admit that I was perhaps attracted to women because I felt I had such safe relationships with all the women in my life because they thought of me as a gay man. In my head, I was like: ’Oh no, if I transition, do I tell people that I might just be a lesbian or bisexual? She was adamant, however, that her announcement not be deemed a “coming out.” Later in her “Broad Ideas” chat, Dorfman also confirmed that she’d recently gotten engaged. I also think I made decisions that were just not aligned with who I really was or what I wanted, but out of fear.” “So when it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like: ‘Nope, that’s not for now.

Tommy Dorfman announced she's engaged to “a gay girl” after previously being married to Peter Zurkuhlen for five years before deciding to divorce in 2022.

[came out as a transgender woman](https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2021/07/tommy-dorfman-comes-out-as-trans-woman-time-interview-13-reasons-why) in an interview for the cover of Time magazine, explaining that her transition had understandably shifted the dynamics of her marriage. I spent 28 years of my life suicidal and depressed and recovering from alcoholism and drug addiction. As a result of that shift, the types of romantic partnerships I seek out are different,” she explained. They wed the following year in November 2016 in a small ceremony held in Portland, Maine. [Broad Ideas](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tommy-dorfman/id1625760667?i=1000576099281) that she's in love and engaged. While Dorfman didn't share any details about the identity of her new partner, referring to her as “just a gay girl,” she did add that their relationship has been “very affirming” and she feels completely ready to “spend the rest of [her] life” with her.

Tommy Dorfman announced her engagement on Rachel Bilson's Broad Ideas podcast and shared what inspired her to start dating women.

I was like, 'This is the year that I'm gonna go on some dates with girls and feel that out again, and not feel ashamed about it.'" "It's very affirming," she continued. "Then she was out of town and we FaceTimed and she walked me through it." In the conversation, Dorfman, 30, didn't reveal the identity of her partner, saying only that she's "just a gay girl." Dorfman also disclosed that her fiancée is an Aries before speaking of her best characteristics. [Peter Zurkuhlen](https://people.com/tv/tommy-dorfman-husband-says-he-has-so-much-love-for-his-partner-after-she-comes-out-as-a-trans-woman/).

"I think if I hadn't booked [13 Reasons Why], I would've started transitioning a lot sooner," Dorfman told Rachel Bilson on her podcast "Broad Ideas."

But if she hadn’t appeared on the popular Netflix series [ “13 Reasons Why,”](https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/18/health/13-reasons-why-study-suicides-trnd/index.html) she said, she may have come out earlier. Dorfman had privately transitioned a year before her 2021 interview with Time. “When it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like, ‘nope, that’s not for now.'” Only this time, she said, she’s reaching these milestones very publicly. But on the series, a [controversial](https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/30/health/13-reasons-why-suicide-rates-study/index.html) but widely watched teen drama that premiered in 2017, Dorfman played a gay, cisgender male, a situation that led her to “compartmentalize” the parts of her that questioned her identity.

She also opened up about how 13 Reasons Why delayed her decision to come out as trans.

“When it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like, ‘Nope, that's not for now, I'm working.’” I was like, ‘This is the year that I’m gonna go on [some dates](http://pride.com/celebrities/2020/8/26/jacob-elordi-kissed-tommy-dorfman-now-internet-going-crazy) with girls and feel that out again, and not feel ashamed about it.’”

I fell in love with someone who doesn't fetishize me,” said “13 Reasons Why” star Tommy Dorfman, who recently reintroduced herself as a trans woman.

“I made decisions that were just not aligned with how I really was or what I wanted — but out of fear.” “I kind of got stuck in time for a minute ... If not for her professional commitment to that show, Dorfman said, she “would’ve started transitioning a lot sooner.” “She knew how, so she did it for me the first time,” Dorfman said. It turns out “those were the people who cared the least.” so much because I was so insular and private during my transition that I wasn’t out in the world.

'13 Reasons Why' star Tommy Dorfman talks about her new fiance and how she might have transitioned earlier if she didn't book her role on the Netflix ...

I feel how I think I was always supposed to feel.” I felt it hit, and I was like, ‘Let’s ride,’” she explained. Dorfman, who has chronicled her transition on social media, previously said her decision was spurred during the pandemic following a Calvin Klein campaign in New York for Pride. I made decisions that were just not aligned with how I really was or what I wanted — but out of fear.” “And as the testosterone leaves my body, I feel so much better. She compares the experience to her first year of sobriety while explaining that at least part of why she decided to transition only just last year was due in part to her work in Hollywood, and more specifically, her role on 13 Reasons Why. Then it was like, boom!” “I think if I hadn’t booked that job I would have transitioned a lot sooner,” Dorfman explained. That’s weird.’ The acting was the only way I could feel things until I started transitioning. “For me, I always felt like other people had a guidebook for life that I just did not [have],” she continued. During the conversation, Dorfman — who divorced from her husband of six years, Peter Zurkuhlen, last year — confirmed she is engaged to a woman, though she did not identify her. “I can sleep now.

As Dorfman shared on the podcast hosted by The OC's Rachel Bilson, she didn't feel like it was the right time to transition while starring in the show out of “ ...

You can watch all seasons of 13 Reasons Why and the new Umbrella Academy season with a [Netflix subscription](https://www.cinemablend.com/streaming-news/netflix-subscription-the-plans-the-price-and-whats-included). However, once the show ended, Dorfman could finally move on and [do new things like the rest of the 13 Reasons Why cast](https://www.cinemablend.com/television/2548359/what-netflixs-13-reasons-why-cast-is-doing-next). Trans actor Elliot Page came out months prior to Tommy Dorfman with The Umbrella Academy series still in full swing. As the actress continues to remain authentic about her identity and her journey thus far, Dorfman spoke to how starring in 13 Reasons Why actually affected her transition. [faced a number of controversies over the years](https://www.cinemablend.com/television/2548295/a-guide-to-13-reasons-why-controversies-including-season-4), a time in her life when she felt somewhat “stuck in time” because so much of her focus was on being part of the series. At the same time, Dorfman also got honest with these words:

"13 Reasons Why" actor Tommy Dorfman says she's engaged and "in love."

The star said that when she and her fiancée first met, they would initially send each other tons of songs — at least one of which was by Blossom Dearie, a popular jazz musician in the late 1950s and 1960s. “I probably got married for the first time, now reflecting on it, for safety," she said in the podcast. I view today as a reintroduction to me as a woman, having made a transition medically. Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman,” she explained. The couple separated in June 2021, according to the filing. News](https://www.eonline.com/news/1318354/tommy-dorfman-and-husband-peter-zurkuhlen-divorcing-after-5-years-of-marriage) at the time.

'13 Reasons Why' star Tommy Dorfman opened up to Rachel Bilson about her career affected her transition.

And now she's able to integrate her gender and her work; she appears in Lena Dunham's upcoming feature, Sharp Stick, in her first female role. “When it came to anything around dysphoria or gender or stuff that had already been really present, I was like: ‘Nope, that’s not for now. For Tommy Dorfman, a role on the hit Netflix drama 13 Reasons Why was a career boon but a personal challenge.